Getting off our cultural high horse

Buckle up, folks. This is a wordy one.

‘For if one were to offer men to choose out of all the customs in the world such as seemed to them the best, they would examine the whole number, and end by preferring their own; so convinced are they that their own usages far surpass those of all others’ - Herodotus, The Histories

Indonesian culture is different than American culture. If there’s one thing you’re going to get out of this post, it’s that. But because it’s different than American culture, it doesn’t make it wrong. I feel like when I talk to others about culture here, either Americans serving with me, or Americans back home, people try to make sense of what I’m telling them, like it’s either one or the other that's best.

Americans are obsessed with time because culturally, we have a fixation on productivity and output. If you’re wasting time, that’s no good. Flip that, and you’re saying that Indonesians have a more blasé attitude on punctuality. Does that mean they aren’t productive? This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Given the cycle of vulnerability and adjustment from Peace Corps, naturally, myself and other PCVs begin seeing the world in “black and white”. Which culture makes more sense? Which one is more right? Well, American culture, right?

Ethnocentrism is “a belief in the superiority of your own culture” and “results from judging other cultures by your own cultural ideals”. In the world we live in, we are limited to interpreting the world, and different people, narrowly through our own filter of culture. When you grow up in a culture, and don’t know anything other than that, it’s what defines your reality and is the determinant for what’s true, right and just. Any variations, or differences, are considered weird, wrong, or just inferior.

The other day, I walked into the administrative office (it’s called the TU in Indonesia) of my school after a long, daunting class with my counterpart. It did not go to plan. We started twenty minutes late, and there was a massive miscommunication that set me back a bit. I walked into the office stressed, confused, and trying not to cry. My colleagues in the office there are supportive, always listen, and love to have fun. They immediately asked me what was the matter.

After my explanation that, as an American, I am inherently a punctual person, and feel disrespected when things start late, they sat me down and told me not to worry. Tidak apa apa. I said that I think people in the US value time, money and work much more than people here. Is it wrong of me to say that? I think it’s a cultural fact that Americans have this obsession with work, and a lot of the time, you are defined by what your job is. One administrator then asked me, “Do you think we aren’t professional?” I quickly said “absolutely, not” but it makes you think that maybe, as I was comparing the two cultures, it seemed that I was judging Indonesian culture, and came off that I thought Indonesian culture is inferior. This is not what I am here to do. I am not here to be the Westerner that tells Indonesians what is right and wrong. I’m here to learn and listen. Here, success is measured differently.

It’s not that people here don’t work, but there is more emphasis on the relationships you have with colleagues here than the productivity your job brings. It doesn’t mean that people here are lazy, or don’t work. In an office in the US, you’ll be chatting with a co-worker, and after several minutes, you’ll have to get back to work. Something I’ve experienced on several occasions here is that co-workers can chat for up to an hour, put off work that needs to be done, and get to it later. That also doesn’t mean that I don’t think Americans value relationships with other people, but in a number of ways, it can be superficial. You have your friends at work, you have your friends at home, and there are much more distinct lines drawn between work and home life. This plays a lot with the culture of capitalism we have as a country, versus the emphasis on community and collectivity seen here. When you get home in the US, you typically try not to bring your work with you. In your office or working with a team, there is the mutual understanding that you are there to achieve a goal, whether it be to sell more insurance, or take care of sick people, or finish building a store on time, but that goal is what comes first, and everything else comes second.

People here always ask me if everyone in America is rich. Questions on money are fairly common, and many teachers will ask me how much my sneakers cost in America, or my iPhone, or what I can buy with one US dollar. People here think that Americans are always, always working and therefore making much more money. I’ve noticed that in America, working hard is inherent to being a good person, and having criticism or being criticized on your job is almost an attack on your character. It’s hard to have conversations like this without having it sound like you think one culture is better than the other, though. It’s hard because this is what you're used to your whole life, and we have to work hard to offset that natural inclination to thinking that what you’ve always done makes the most sense.

The culture of “tidak apa apa”

Tidak apa apa directly translates to “no what what”, meaning, no matter, no worries, it’s fine, it’s okay. For me, this is something I have to get used to. One stereotype of Americans here is that we are confrontational. Compared to Indonesians, we are. If there’s a problem, you usually bring it up. If there’s a conflict, you’ll try to take care of it. I both love and hate the tidak apa apa culture. Like yes, it's definitely good to let things go and not get hung up about trivial things, but sometimes it really is apa apa. Sometimes, I feel like there is a problem that needs to be addressed. For Americans, there are work conflicts. It seems that the emphasis on “tidak apa apa” causes there to be much less work conflicts, because no worries. It’s almost like “hakuna matata”. Sometimes though, my anger or frustration feels invalid because everyone just says “tidak apa apa”. Sometimes, it’s okay for there to be “apa apa.”

After having that conversation in the TU, my uncle, who works there, spilled a full cup of coffee. It was everywhere—on his desk, on the computer, on papers and documents, and the floor. We all reacted to the spill with surprise, but then stopped, looked at each other, and said “tidak apa apa!!” simultaneously. It’s nothing to get worked up on.

Jam karet

Time in Indonesia is a lot more flexible, almost like rubber. Arrive to a scheduled event thirty minutes late, and Indonesians incant the famous phrase, “jam karet” which translates to rubber time. Being late here can be two minutes after the hour, or it can be two hours. Running late? Rubber time. Someone hasn’t shown up yet? Rubber time. It applies to appointments, meetings, class, schedules, or anything regarding time. Class did not take place until a couple days after the scheduled date on the academic calendar. Lessons start at 1pm, we won’t leave the teacher’s room until 1:06. The American in me finds this absolutely infuriating, but jam karet right?

I’ll check my phone or my watch and think “we were supposed to leave an hour ago.” I will arrive to a meeting point as discussed, and wait for people for thirty minutes. Tell an Indonesian you haven’t eaten yet, and you’ll be adding another hour before the scheduled thing happens. You’ll be taken to the nearest warung and be treated to a delicious meal. For Indonesians, it’s more about the now, and less about the later, or before. In bahasa Indonesia, the word for “yesterday”, meaning “kemarin” can mean yesterday, or the day before yesterday, or last week, or last year. It just means any time before right now. The words for “tomorrow” and “later” are also just as arbitrary, meaning some time in the future.

Now when I walk into the TU and check my watch, my co-workers stop me, screaming “KAYLA! Jam Karet!” That’s something I can’t get used to. When in high school, Brother Joshua, the Vice Principal of my school, was famous for saying “If you’re late, you’re forgotten.” I like telling that to Indonesians so I can watch them smile or laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. For Americans, “Time is money” is just as sacred as “In God We Trust” and therefore rubber time sounds pretty unpleasant. Rubber time isn’t an excuse to be late to things though, it’s a way of viewing the world. For Americans, it may seem like time wasted while waiting for a late person. Rubber time is about taking the time to wait, as expected, patiently. Time isn’t wasted, it’s spent doing things that are more important, or doing something important while waiting for someone that’s doing something important. Pushing others to fit your schedule may seem impolite (WHOOPS!) and in a collectivist culture, pressuring people to change their schedule to fit your needs seems selfish (WHOOPS!)

At this moment, I realized trying to fight the culture which I am living in is not going to work. Although these components of daily life are literally ingrained in me, and it’s my natural reaction to be angry when people do the very opposite of what I grew up knowing, my experiences the last five months have been eye opening. Neither culture is right, nor wrong. The focus that needs to be made is that one isn’t better than the other, and that accepting that rather that fighting or trying to change that will help me so much more for the next two years.

More info on ethnocentrism:

https://cultureplusconsulting.com/2015/06/04/ethnocentrism/

Illustration: Sally Dixon